What romance is
If you’re going to be bringing on the romance in your life, it’s helpful to define romance. Here’s a definition I picked up online: Romance can be defined as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. A second meaning can be defined as a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life such as “the beauty and romance of the night.”
Most women love movies and stories about travelling or moving to Paris. It has something to do with our inner lives and our deep desire for romance. And what better location to play out our desires than in Paris or the Côte d’Azur. En effet, France is the perfect playground for our dreams.
But how does one bring on the romance in real life? (In fact, you don’t have to have a partner, significant other or even a spouse to bring on the romance in your life.) Because in France, romance seems to be woven into every facet of daily living. And the images we visualize have everything to do with our senses:
Think French cuisine, French couture, Frenchmen speaking in their native tongue, sunflowers, manicured parks, the Eiffel Tower, lavender fields, couples strolling arm in arm along the Seine (sharing plenty of PDA), vintage wines, artwork, Le Tour de France, coastal villages, Riviera beaches, Mont Blanc and much, much more.
The images stir up feelings of mystery, excitement, adventure, happiness and of course, romantic love.
The French secret to bringing on the romance in your life
Bringing more romance into one’s life most likely will require both a bit of planning and spur-of-the-moment actions.
French men and women are very sense-sual beings. They can plan for romance any day or night of the week – because romance has a lot to do with experiencing and enjoying simple pleasures.
So, romance can be found in every part of your life – in music, food, art, nature and just about anywhere. You know that old saying, stop and smell the roses. It’s only natural to use all your senses: smell, sight, sound, touch and feelings and hearing. And, also your intuition.
Once you begin to live through your senses, the possibilities for romance are endless. In the course of your normal day, do you take the time to smell? Instead of focusing on your breath, what if you also focus on what you smell. Find some flowers, perfume or food smells to inhale and savor.
Do you rush around without really seeing? Are you looking down at the ground or pavement? Do you take notice of the sky or the people around you? What thoughts are you having while you observe what’s happening around you?
Are you paying attention to what people are saying to you? Or is your mind on one thing and you’re listening with only half your ears? Are you aware of the sounds of barking dogs, the hum of bees or city traffic?
Is kiss and run how you operate? When your loved one arrives home or comes over, do you give him a quick kiss and then launch into some story or activity? Do you ever take the time to kiss and really feel the sensations of it? Are you unsure about what your true feelings are?
What about having an awareness of messages that your body may be sending you? Are you aware of feelings of “knowing” or have you experienced a faint feeling about something, whether positive or negative, that may be giving you some sort of signal or insight?
Is it a romantic gesture or a spark that we desire
Adding more sense-suality to your life will deepen your experiences and pleasure in life. Become attuned to what pleases you and what pleases your partner. Bringing on the romance in your life can be about many things not only about yearnings for flowers and billets-doux.
For example, recently my guy and I were cycling, when a speck of dirt flew into my eye and got under my contact lens. I had to pull over three times, with my eye tearing up until the speck got dislodged. Meanwhile, my guy flew on by. But no worries. He circled back.
It was a romantic gesture that produced trust on my part and caring on his. Then, again, maybe the gesture is more about deep love than the “spark” we associate with romance.
What “romance” means to you may not be what it means to your partner
Is romance defined as meaningful gestures or our idealized desires for flowers, a night on the town or a weekend away? Or is it a combination of the two?
According to John Gray (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus), men need to receive trust, acceptance and appreciation. (And, it goes without saying, physical affection.) Perhaps this is what romance means to a guy.
And perhaps a woman needs a man who wants to sweep her off her feet. Basically, she wants him to surprise her with flowers or a special evening and to be excited to do so. And forming a deeper connection with her man wouldn’t hurt either. Right?
But couples are still scheduling their weekly “date night” in the hope of regenerating the spark that brought them together in the first place. And “date night” may mean dinner out and a movie, week after week (read: same old, same old). It seems a lot of spontaneity and variety are missing.
Romance and sense-suality
At the end of the day, bringing on romance is about a shared feeling and an understanding of what’s special to you and to someone else and how you can both make each other feel special.
By getting in touch with your sense-suality, you learn what pleases you and what excites you and what it means to take pleasure from simple everyday experiences.
With that knowledge and the knowledge of what your partner finds pleasurable in life, you’ll form a deeper connection with each other and live life more fully, with plenty of romance.
What do you think? How are you bringing on romance in your life (and in your relationship, if you have one)? How’s your sense-suality? Are you aware of using your senses throughout the day? Please respond below, we’d love to hear from you.